By Tricia Pursell
MONTANDON — When Ken and Marilyn Lenker were married 16 years ago, they had something in common that later formed a firm foundation for a lasting ministry to others.
Both having struggled through the pain of divorce, they shared an understanding of loneliness and the need to be around others while trying their best to heal.
“We know what we went through,” Marilyn said. “And we realized the need was there.”
As a result, they have led a singles ministry for people 21 and older for 11 years.
The social, support and spiritual networking among singles, she said, is for those who are tired of, or don’t like, “the barroom scene.”
“It’s a gap we have tried to fill,” Marilyn said. “And we love it. We see us doing this forever.”
On Saturday, a Christmas party was held for approximately 50 divorced, widowed and never-married singles in Crossroads Church of the Nazarene. The Lenkers also are opening up their home on Christmas Day to single adults who don’t have anywhere else to go and who don’t want to be alone for the holiday.
The average age of those involved in the church’s singles ministry is about 50, Marilyn said. Approximately 150 to 200 singles have received support through DivorceCare, GriefShare, which is for widows and widowers, and the singles ministry in the two years it has been offered there.
The singles ministry holds special events for every major holiday, as well as an annual retreat.
Glenda Fabian, 50, of Montandon, is going through a divorce, and this Christmas will be her first one alone. She has two adult daughters who live out of state.
Gathering with others in similar circumstances, and surrounded by people who care, she said, makes a world of difference.
“You don’t feel so alone,” she said. “We encourage one another. It gives us something to look forward to.”
Kathy Keiper, 57, of Sunbury, has never been married and said it is easy to get in the mode of having a “pity party” and wishing you weren’t alone. But the singles group, she said, has helped her to fill any void she might feel.
“When you get here, you get caught up with each other, and you don’t even have time to think or feel bad about your circumstances.”
“It’s a wonderful way to get together and just share joys, concerns and have a lot of laughs,” she added.
Dave Detwiler, of Northumberland, has been married two times. His last divorce was in 1996.
“It’s just the idea that there’s nobody there,” he said. “Whether it’s a good or bad marriage, it’s nice to know there’s someone there besides you.”
Milton resident Kay Aikey, 57, was blind-sided when her husband left her in June after 21 years of marriage.
She will be spending Christmas with her parents and other family members.
“It’s hard to go to the stores and shop,” she said. “You’re used to picking out things together. It’s just hard. ... But I know I’m not alone in this. Without the friends I’ve met here, I don’t know how I’d be getting through right now.”
She added, “With God’s help, I’ll get through.”
